This was written by Paul Jarrett and appeared in the October 15, 1971 edition of The Bible Herald which was published by the Bible Herald Corporation in Parkersburg, West Virginia.
"A new commandment I give unto you. That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another." In the space of two small verses in John 13:34-35, Jesus saw fit to urge thrice that His disciples, "love one another." If repetition alone does not point to the importance of this command, the fact that Jesus indicates this to be the mark of discipleship which we present to the world, should erase all doubt.
Much has been said about the importance of loving one another so I do not propose to add to the wealth of material on the subject since I'm sure that all those reading this publication realize the need. What I do propose to do in this article, is to present you with three modes of behavior which I feel, if adopted, would serve to facilitate obedience to the command, "love one another." Our problem is not a lack of appreciation for the need to "love one another," but rather the problem arises in our carrying out what is not always an easy task. It is in hopes of making our obedience a little easier and surer that I present these three suggestions.
1.Forebear One Another in Love: In Ephesians 4:2 and Colossians 3:13, we find Paul urging Christians to forbear one another. If you were to look up the word "forbear" in your dictionary, you would find it defined as an archaic word meaning to, "endure or tolerate." I believe that this is one archaic word that needs to be given a rebirth in our vocabulary and perhaps you too will come to share my sentiments as you continue reading.
One translation records Ephesians 4:2 in this fashion, "...making allowances for one another because you love one another." How often do you overlook someone's idiosyncrasies because you love them? If I had to list the most predominant sin (fault, if you prefer) among Christians, I feel I would say pettiness. We do not realize that sometimes love MUST be blind, deaf and mute. Lest anyone misconstrue my meaning, let me make clear that I am not urging that we overlook those faults in a brother that might lead to his being lost or leading others astray. We must however, learn when to speak and when to forebear (i.e., endure, tolerate) in love.
Colossians 3:13 furnishes us with guidance on this matter, "you must bear with one another's faults, be generous to each other...the Lord's generosity to you must be the model of yours." If we would consider how much God overlooks in our life in order to claim us as His, we might tend to be less critical of every little fault we see in our brother. Do you not feel that our inability to cope with the large problems that confront us today often lies in our failure to overlook the petty faults? If we insist on making mountains of mole hills, how can we ever hope to cope with a real mountain?
Before leaving this point, let me include one word of caution. Forbearing will not succeed without true forgiving. If we merely postpone comment on our brother's fault and do not also forgive and forget, we merely postpone and eventually make more devastating our eventual confrontation.
2. Outdo One Another in Honor: Our first point was a passive one; the art of learning when to keep silent. The point we now wish to consider calls for an active role on our part. I hope that our discussion up to now has served to impress you with the need to refrain from critical comments of a negative nature except in areas of eternal significance but now, let me urge upon you a positive position as called for by Paul in Romans 12:10 when he writes, "...outdo one another in showing honor." (RSV)
This calls upon us to be active in our praise of one another and I am convinced that by following this course of action we will develop a strong bond of love between us. In order to carry this out however, we must have the attitude that Paul enjoined on the Philippians when he wrote, "...let each of you regard one another as more important than himself" (Philippians 2:3). If we would practice what Paul advises in a conscientious fashion, not only would those whom we come in contact with be lifted up, but we ourselves would experience the joys of love. In order to practice what is advised here, we must be ready to lower ourselves rather than simply waiting for others to rise to meet us.
To summarize and illustrate our second point, let me propose this situation: If a boy who is six feet tall is dating a girl who is five feet tall and he desires to kiss her, does he insist that she grow to his height first or does he lower himself and perhaps lift her a little to accomplish his desired purpose? The answer depends on the boy's real feelings as to how much he wants to kiss the girl. Our ability to, "love one another" is also dependent on how much we want to and whether we are willing to humble ourselves and lift others in order to accomplish it. Keep in mind though that the boy enjoys the kiss as much as the girl and when we give love, we too profit from the giving.
3. A Two-Way Street: No matter how much forbearance and giving of honor we practice, there will be times when we face the real test of our ability to, "love one another." I do not propose to be an authority on dealing with problems among brethren as I too have had my failures in this regard but I would like to call your attention to two passages of Scripture in Matthew which I do feel, if observed, would remove one major obstacle in the settling of differences among brethren.
In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus speaks concerning a man, who upon coming to worship God, remembers that he has a brother who, "...has some grievance against you." Jesus advises this man to leave his gift on the alter and first make amends with his brother before worshiping God.
In Matthew 18:15, we find Jesus giving instruction as to how to deal with a situation where, "...your brother wrongs you..." and His first advise is that you go to him by yourself and try to patch up your differences.
If you read these two passages together, you will find that Jesus places the responsibility to take the first step in settling the differences among brethren on both the one who has been offended and the one who committed the offense. How many differences go unresolved because both of the involved parties refuse to take the first step? Don't Jesus' instructions remove this obstacle by placing equal responsibility on both the offender and offended?
Consider this, if you have a neighbor who has wronged you, where is the best location for settling your differences: (1) in his house, (2) in your house, or (3) on the sidewalk between your houses where you meet as you are both on the way to see each other? Jesus advised the third location for the children of God.
The command to, "love one another" will never be an easy one to obey but if we will practice forbearance, outdo one another in showing honor and settle our differences on a two-way street, I think we'll be a little more successful in accomplishing this mark of discipleship.
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